This old truck…

Feast or Famine

It is either feast or famine on this blog of mine!  I have been ridiculously busy the past month trying to prepare for my gallery show!  It was worth it though!  This weekend I promised myself that I could just relax and ENJOY!  I have purposefully not made any decisions…not looked at my finances…and I didn’t even do my hair on Saturday!  I lounged with my sisters and cousin Laura on Saturday morning…I think we each had 3 cups of coffee!  Ha.  Then we took Ella sledding for the first time on Saturday…she LOVED it!  Today I finally took the opportunity to go take photos of the BEAUTIFUL winter wonderland!  I am enchanted by this frozen fog and usually just see it on my drive to work…but this time I had time to bundle up and just go out and ENJOY it!  I just drove…I found some new roads in the country, tromped through the deep snow drifts at my Grandma’s, and enjoyed the fresh air!  Here are a few of my favs:

I’ve been working on the railroad

Photos from my gallery!

Windows of the Soul

Do you ever have those moments when things just CLICK…When you are reading a book and someone seems to finally be able to say what you have always felt but never been able to put into words?  I am currently re-reading a book called Windows of the Soul by Ken Gire.  It was first given to me by a mentor in college with this inscribed inside the cover:

I pray that this book will encourage you and that as you pursue photography you will continue to look for those windows that reveal WHO WE ARE, WHO GOD IS, AND HIS HEART FOR US.

In his book, Gire reminds us that God can be seen in everyday experiences…His truth and character are revealed in art, in music, in culture…even in the “secular” world.  The chapter I just read resonated with me.  I felt as I was reading it, that it really described well one of the primary ways I connect my every day life with my faith.  I wanted to share parts of it with you:

“The power of story is in the way it incarnates ideas, putting flesh and blood on skeletal principles.”

If a story is to [make it] home, find entrance through some door of our heart, it must be asked, consciously or unconsciously, two questions:

1. What does this story have to say?

2. And what does it have to say to me?

A great novel is a kind of conversion experience.  We come away from it changed.  The change may be a change in the way we look at life in general or at our own lives in particular.  It may be a change in the way we think or see or feel.  It may be a change in the way we look at someone on the street or someone in our own home.  It may even change the way we look at ourselves.

I have always loved to critique movies…to discuss the undercurrent ideas, alternate endings, the characters.  Somehow it is like blogging…verbalizing forces me to reach deeper beyond the surface level – to seek what God may be saying, to sense His hand of Providence at work.  Through reading this chapter I remembered several movies that have changed my views of people and life:

Marley & Me – It’s really not about a dog…it’s about life and choices.  Sometimes life doesn’t turn out the way you think it will…your job isn’t what you thought, marriage isn’t always happy-go-lucky, kids are wonderful but a full-time job.  But it comes down to perspective…choosing to be content, to follow through with your decisions, to live fully in the present.

Pursuit of Happiness – Changed my view of homeless people…It is not always due to laziness that they are where they are.  Sometimes they are hard-working people just down on their luck.

A River Runs Through it – Sometimes it is those who are closest to us that we are desperate to help, but we are least able to do anything.

There have been other movies that have incarnated ideas of HOPE, of letting go, of disappointment, of victory.  However, movies are only one of the more obvious types of stories.  I know there are lessons to be learned in stories all around us…in books, in the lives of others, etc.  And going back to the first quote…

The power of story is in the way it incarnates ideas, putting flesh and blood on skeletal principles.

Is that not what Jesus did using parables?  He used every day examples to embody a practical truth.

Another thought I had….isn’t Jesus the INCARNATE word of God?  He is TANGIBLE.  Through Him, we can see first hand the Love of GOD.  We can see His compassion, his righteous anger, mercy, humility.  Through Jesus we can finally begin to understand the heart of the Father.

Adjusting

Almost 6 weeks into my job now…WHAT an adjustment!  I enjoy the variety that comes from moving from office to office, but the learning curve is ridiculous!  I have gotten to the point of being comfortable in 3 offices only to be moved to the next one…at which point I forget everything I have learned!  This next week I have 4 days to try to learn everything I possibly can and then I’ll be completely ON MY OWN at one of the offices, covering while the woman who usually works will be out of the country on a cruise!  I’m extremely nervous about it as there is really no one I can ask any questions…there isn’t anyone else at that office….i’m it.  Not the funnest way to learn the ropes!  She’ll be gone until the end of the month.  THEN I will be off to learn a new office.  I’m hoping everything just clicks one of these days.  I hate the feeling of incompetence in any area of my life!

I am excited that I finally get to move closer to Wichita!  In early February sometime I will be moving into a house of a friend.  It’s actually in Park City which is on the edge of Wichita, but it will save at least 15 min. drive each way.  At some point I may try to move to Wichita, but for now don’t have anyone I could live with, can’t afford to furnish an apt/house, and don’t know where to even live since I don’t know what office I’ll be at the most and they are on all 4 corners of Wichita!   It’s been a HUGE blessing to be able to move home with my amazing family…but I am SO ready for my own place again.

I have enjoyed going to my young adult ministry called 242.  I’ve gotten to meet a lot of great people and am looking forward to investing more time once I’m closer to Wichita….I feel like I am still on the edge and it’s not fully MY community yet.  In large groups I have the tendency to be much quieter and have a hard time putting myself out there.  But the more people I hang out with one-on-one the more connected I will feel.

My gallery show is coming up!  2 weeks from yesterday!  I have ordered the photos, picked out frames etc, and now have to come up with titles for each and pricing!  The gallery invites are sent.  The money is spent.  I’m VERY nervous about this investment and am praying that I at least come out in the black at the end.  Spending money is such a scary thing for me.

Well I will put up some new photos soon. I have NOT had time to even take out my camera for a few weeks!  I am looking forward to really getting plugged in to the Wichita community of work, a church, 242, a ministry….whatever God brings my way.  Then I will take pics of all that I’m involved in and send them your way!

Sugar cookies by the dozen!

I sure do like those Christmas cookies, Sugar.
I sure do like those Christmas cookies, Babe…
The ones that look like Santa Clause, Christmas trees and bells and stars.
I sure do like those Christmas cookies, Babe!

Gingerbread house!

I realize I have become quite sporadic at my blog.  The past few weeks have been extremely busy, and I am adjusting to my new job, new schedule, new claims on my time.  I have also not had the time I would like to take photos!  However, this past Christmas weekend I have had ample opportunity for photos!  I will try to post a few collages to make up for the lack lately!  :-)

This first one is our annual family event of building a gingerbread house!  This year it was so fun to see Ella join in the fun!  Of course, I think she ate more candy and “icing” than she put on the house!

Whirlwind trip to KC

I was so excited to have the opportunity to go to KC this weekend to see one of my best friends from college who was at home visiting her family!  It’s been three years since I’ve seen Natalie and in that time, she has gotten married (I didn’t get to go since I was in Kenya), moved to three states and recently had beautiful twin girls!  It was so fun to get to meet Ella & Claire and to spend time just being with Natalie.

I also got to spend some time with my cousin Beth and her husband!  I figured since I had my camera along we might as well get a shot together too

Now I’ve got a to-do list to finish before I can take my nap!   I hope you all have had a fantastic weekend!

Passion

It is 1:00a.m. and unfortunately I can’t sleep!  This is extremely rare for me…I feel like I’m coming down with something which wouldn’t be a surprise since both the women I’ve been working with have been sick this entire week!

As I’ve been laying in bed for several hours…my mind keeps going to the word PASSION.  Over the past few years I feel as though God has given me different words for different seasons I am in.  I have learned specifically about trusting…about intimacy…about dependence on Christ.  And now PASSION.  As I have been laying in bed my mind was trying to create a definition for the rather elusive word.  What is passion really?  I would use the word to emphatically say I loved doing something…or one could use it in regards to loving a person.  I feel as though it is stressed we should be passionate in our faith…passionate for our God.  But in all honesty for years I have struggled with that…how do you become passionate about faith…such a vague concept!

Over the past few weeks I have been listening to sermons and reading books and getting into discussions with friends about topics that all seem to fit together in a way beyond just being “about Jesus”.  I have a friend who continuously brings our conversation back to the fact that if you have truly MET JESUS…your life will never be the same.  He will change your desires…He will change your actions…He will change and mold the very core of who you are.  I loved this quote from my young life training:

To glorify something or someone is to praise, enjoy, and delight in them.  When something is useful you are attracted to it for what it can bring you or do for you.  But IF IT IS BEAUTIFUL, then you enjoy it simply FOR WHAT IT IS.  Just being in its presence is its own reward.

(example…that feeling you get watching an incredibly beautiful sunset)

and this one:

We were designed then, not just for belief in God in some general way nor for a vague kind of inspiration or spirituality.  We were made to CENTER our LIVES upon him, to make the PURPOSE and PASSION of our lives…
KNOWING,
SERVING,
DELIGHTING,
and RESEMBLING Him.

And the greatest thing is that we can actually KNOW our God!  He became FLESH and dwelt among us (John 1)…He made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness and being found in appearance as man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross! (Phil 2:7-8).  However, Pastor Dave has been talking about how often we concentrate on Jesus birth and His death and forget that He had a mission for his time on earth as well as for his death!!!  His purpose was always PEOPLE.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners…to comfort all who mourn…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair…For I the Lord, love justice… (please read all of Isaiah 61!)

Is that not beautiful? How can one not fall in love with a God who loves us so freely, with no benefit to Himself!!?  Following this portrait of Jesus, Isaiah says “I DELIGHT GREATLY in the Lord; my soul REJOICES in my God”.  Can you hear the PASSION?  No other deep theology is needed to excite this compelling emotion…But FIRST WE MUST SEE JESUS.  This last quote is a chorus from Hosanna in the Highest by Hillsong:

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to Eternity

That is my prayer. I want to truly see Jesus for who He is.  I want to love what He loves and hurt for the things that breaks His heart.  I want everything I am to be for His kingdom’s cause.  I want to be PASSIONATE…not about my faith or evangelism or even ministry…but about my Savior!